O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
