i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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