Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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