so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I woke up under a house in Key West
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