when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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