I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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