i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize