yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think my vagina is haunted
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
