There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
