i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
