I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
