he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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