Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
