I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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