I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
