He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
