I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
