I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
