I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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