My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
