and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
