his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
