I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
