hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
