Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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