I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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