this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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