If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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