it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
