I can tuck mytits in my pants
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
