You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
