Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
