Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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