Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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