remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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