so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
