hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
