The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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