No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
