weddingsv make me drug and hornr
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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