The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
