Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
