I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
