she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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