ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
