my vag is so smooth its legendary
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
