worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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