What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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