if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
