What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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