She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
