3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
smell my finger.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
third nipple confirmed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
