theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
