"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
