She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
